me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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