I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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