Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Boobs are out for the taking
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
