he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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