You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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