This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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