we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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