Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
