Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Sext me about skeletons
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
