Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So squirting runs in the family.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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