i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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