The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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