my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
