He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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