I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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