so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
