My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
