no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
