it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize