This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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