I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think people are normalizing furries
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
