Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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