so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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