Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
