Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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