Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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