If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
