yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize