I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
