Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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