we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
