Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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