About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize