I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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