I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
