somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
