This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
