Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
