Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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