I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
