It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate ashes out of my bong
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize