Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I need water and some morals
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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