i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
