yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
