Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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