I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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