Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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(818): View more from California

what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?

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(210): View more from Texas

I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.

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(641): View more from Iowa

i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that

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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.

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(407): View more from Florida

Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?

(912): View more from Georgia

Home?

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(606): View more from Kentucky

at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.

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(855): View more from

This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.

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