i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
