He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
