Where is the hickey?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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