There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
