She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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