i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
And then he peed in my hair
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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