how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
