I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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