He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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