I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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