R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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