Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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