If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
